About A Boy

Family Dynamics at Holiday Gatherings

Now that is an interesting sight to see, my large blended family doing their best to make it through the holiday seasons. I sometimes sit back and watch from the outside looking in as my cousins and siblings and all the adults either get along blissfully or begin WWIII in the living room...There is one family member in particular that tends to enjoy making things difficult, every family has one. In mine it is my aunt. She is my uncle's second wife, and let's just say everyone wishes he would have stayed with the first one! On my step dad's side, I never know what to expect. They are all so conservative and polite-completely opposite to my mother's wild southern clan. The first years we visited his family, there is no other way to describe it other than awkward. They all knew Rob (my step father), but we were foreign strangers to them, and here we were walking in to eat their food and unwrap their presents on Christmas day! I always tried to keep to myself, but the past three years have begun to blossom with unexpected friendships. People have spoken to me that I had no idea could speak! And I found out that I have some really cool cousins near my age, if only I would have opened up sooner! I stopped going to my biological father's house for holidays long ago. They were nothing but disastrous; the adults got drunk and cursed and told bad jokes, and...well that's enough to speak for itself. One year, my poor little brother went out there and I stayed home, and he had to witness a fight break out between our dad and his brother. I was so infuriated. I am so thankful for my safe, warm, loving environment at my nana and papas. Although their gathering is full of misfits (my die hard football loving guy cousins, my far out artistic girl cousin and her coming of age text messaging obsessed sister, my loud crazy little sister, my little brother who barely speaks, my little brother who can't stop talking, my often frantic mother, my nana who won't stop taking pictures, my aunt stirring up trouble and her husband shaking his head in shame, and me who always somehow ends up in the spot light because if worse comes to worst Lord knows I will be forced into singing a song to settle things down) there is familiarity in our strangeness. It's wonderful. I love Christmas.

If...

I was intrigued by one person's comment: If you could do everything right in life, would it still be the same? That really got my wheels turning, and made me suddenly grateful for mistakes. We tend to be full of regret for things we have done and things that have happened to us in the past. But, if we did get our wish granted, and we were all perfect, what sort of a world would we live in? A very shallow one, I can tell you that. Without mistakes, what do we have to learn from? Yes, awfully terrible things have resulted from one person's mistake, but doesn't that keep history from repeating itself? Doesn't that make us humble, mindful, respectful people? If we did nothing wrong, we would have nothing to strive for, perfection would have already been reached. So what would we do with ourselves? The truth is, life is anything but perfect. It's tinged with grey areas and rough spots and laced with pain and confusion. If it weren't, we wouldn't be the people we are, and I think that would be something to be missed dearly. If millions of Jews were not horrifically massacred, would we have the same appreciation and respect for different cultures? If the terrorist attack on 9/11 didn't happen, would we have the same appreciation for our very own family members? We aren't on this planet to prance around gracefully with nothing in our way. That doesn't mean anything. We are here to grow, and sweat, laugh and cry, learn and forgive, lose and gain, time and time again. These things bring us self worth, and worth as a whole species. I love our flawed world, I would not change one thing.

Blue Dress Inspired Writing

Divorce can really...

Divorce can really make you think about life and its true values. Family means a lot to me in this life. My parents divorced twice: once when I was two, once when I was four. All I remember of their marriage is screaming and crying and broken things. Ever since I was old enough to decide I have had nothing to do with my father. It has been difficult, but I know that he is a poor influence, and I have had a loving step father in my life for over eleven years now. Ever since then I have been extremely protective of my mother and brother. Ever since then I have been way too sensitive to arguments, confrontation, and raised voices. Every since then I have been nearly intimidated by men and the thought of a relationship. Although my mom's second marriage has been successful, my dad has had hundreds of girl friends over the years. I am afraid of ending up like him: selfish and lonely. So everyday, I make it an absolute effort to give more than I take to others, and to show compassion to all; even him. Divorce can really make you think about life and what is important to hold onto during this brief period we are permitted on this earth.