About A Boy

Family Dynamics at Holiday Gatherings

Now that is an interesting sight to see, my large blended family doing their best to make it through the holiday seasons. I sometimes sit back and watch from the outside looking in as my cousins and siblings and all the adults either get along blissfully or begin WWIII in the living room...There is one family member in particular that tends to enjoy making things difficult, every family has one. In mine it is my aunt. She is my uncle's second wife, and let's just say everyone wishes he would have stayed with the first one! On my step dad's side, I never know what to expect. They are all so conservative and polite-completely opposite to my mother's wild southern clan. The first years we visited his family, there is no other way to describe it other than awkward. They all knew Rob (my step father), but we were foreign strangers to them, and here we were walking in to eat their food and unwrap their presents on Christmas day! I always tried to keep to myself, but the past three years have begun to blossom with unexpected friendships. People have spoken to me that I had no idea could speak! And I found out that I have some really cool cousins near my age, if only I would have opened up sooner! I stopped going to my biological father's house for holidays long ago. They were nothing but disastrous; the adults got drunk and cursed and told bad jokes, and...well that's enough to speak for itself. One year, my poor little brother went out there and I stayed home, and he had to witness a fight break out between our dad and his brother. I was so infuriated. I am so thankful for my safe, warm, loving environment at my nana and papas. Although their gathering is full of misfits (my die hard football loving guy cousins, my far out artistic girl cousin and her coming of age text messaging obsessed sister, my loud crazy little sister, my little brother who barely speaks, my little brother who can't stop talking, my often frantic mother, my nana who won't stop taking pictures, my aunt stirring up trouble and her husband shaking his head in shame, and me who always somehow ends up in the spot light because if worse comes to worst Lord knows I will be forced into singing a song to settle things down) there is familiarity in our strangeness. It's wonderful. I love Christmas.

If...

I was intrigued by one person's comment: If you could do everything right in life, would it still be the same? That really got my wheels turning, and made me suddenly grateful for mistakes. We tend to be full of regret for things we have done and things that have happened to us in the past. But, if we did get our wish granted, and we were all perfect, what sort of a world would we live in? A very shallow one, I can tell you that. Without mistakes, what do we have to learn from? Yes, awfully terrible things have resulted from one person's mistake, but doesn't that keep history from repeating itself? Doesn't that make us humble, mindful, respectful people? If we did nothing wrong, we would have nothing to strive for, perfection would have already been reached. So what would we do with ourselves? The truth is, life is anything but perfect. It's tinged with grey areas and rough spots and laced with pain and confusion. If it weren't, we wouldn't be the people we are, and I think that would be something to be missed dearly. If millions of Jews were not horrifically massacred, would we have the same appreciation and respect for different cultures? If the terrorist attack on 9/11 didn't happen, would we have the same appreciation for our very own family members? We aren't on this planet to prance around gracefully with nothing in our way. That doesn't mean anything. We are here to grow, and sweat, laugh and cry, learn and forgive, lose and gain, time and time again. These things bring us self worth, and worth as a whole species. I love our flawed world, I would not change one thing.

Blue Dress Inspired Writing

Divorce can really...

Divorce can really make you think about life and its true values. Family means a lot to me in this life. My parents divorced twice: once when I was two, once when I was four. All I remember of their marriage is screaming and crying and broken things. Ever since I was old enough to decide I have had nothing to do with my father. It has been difficult, but I know that he is a poor influence, and I have had a loving step father in my life for over eleven years now. Ever since then I have been extremely protective of my mother and brother. Ever since then I have been way too sensitive to arguments, confrontation, and raised voices. Every since then I have been nearly intimidated by men and the thought of a relationship. Although my mom's second marriage has been successful, my dad has had hundreds of girl friends over the years. I am afraid of ending up like him: selfish and lonely. So everyday, I make it an absolute effort to give more than I take to others, and to show compassion to all; even him. Divorce can really make you think about life and what is important to hold onto during this brief period we are permitted on this earth.

twelve/two

12 places I'd like to visit...
1. France
2. Ireland
3. California
4. New York
5. Hawaii
6. Africa
7. New Zealand
8. England
9. The Arctic Circle
10. Greece
11. India
12. Italy

Two people I'd bring with me...
Dane and Jacob my brother

12 memories I share with Dane...
1. Writing our initials on a wall of our favorite putt putt place
2. Teaching me to drive a jet ski and then not letting him drive it again because it was too fun
3. Getting stuck in pourring down rain at SDC and then the landing and practically everywhere we go
4. Sitting in a park with him and finally convincing him to sing for me, the first and only time so far
5. Seeing the midnight premier of the new Spider Man movie and waiting in line for hours
6. Going to one of our friend's wedding and dancing the night away with their big family
7. Having a picnic at Sequiota, feeding the ducks, and giving a little girl our bread so she could too
8. Watching White Christmas the day after Halloween and munching on our candy
9. Running around his house when no one was home pelting m&ms at each other and spraying water
10. Being stuck in a hospital for over 30 hours and him staying right by my side the whole time-twice
11. Forgetting what we needed at Walgreens because we just kept running around and goofing off
12. Eating dinner at a nice restaurant and getting served champagne without being carded (we did not order it, they brought it to us since it was New Years Eve, and we did not drink it!)

Food Glorious Food

Each family member of mine makes the same dishes for the same holidays every year. I am very much content in the safety and familiarity of the ritual of our family gatherings. For Thanksgiving: Nana makes orange jello salad with fruit inside and marshmallows on top; Papa makes the stuffing, the ham with pineapple, the turkey, and green bean casserole; my mom makes a large pan of sweet potatoes with toasted marshmallows on top and some sort of salad or veggie dish, and also makes another turkey; I make a homemade pumpkin pie; my aunt buys a chocolate pie and bakes a blueberry pie and brings some sort of unrecognizable salad glop of some kind; my other aunt and uncle bring themselves and that's it...my mother provides our home and all the plates and silver wear and drinks-she loves coordinating these things. I just like the pie and sweet potatoes, to be honest. But the smells of our usual foods are comforting and inviting, and mean good memories, warm hugs, loud laughter, and full bellies. This year will be different for me, though, because in addition to my mom's side thanksgiving meal, I will be attending Dane's mom's and dad's dinners as well to meet new family members and try new dishes. I am nervous and excited! I really hope they like me and that the atmosphere isn't painfully different from my own home, or at least not different in a bad way. I doubt it will be, the parts of his family I have met so far have been excellent cooks and extremely friendly. I cannot wait to feast.
Christmas is the most diverse holiday for me of all. I visit two or three different events on my stepdad's side, one on my mother's, occasionally I'll go to my biological dad's side, and then there's Dane's mom's and dad's sides of the family as well. I love the food at the Christmas morning brunch the best, held by my great step grandparents. There are so many various kinds of eggs and bacon and biscuits with gravy, honey, jam, you name it. I love the coffee and angel food cake and one uncle even brings sushi! On Christmas Eve, my step grandparents will usually hold a gathering at their house with chips and cheese dip, mini meatballs, and Christmas cookies. We will eat and then open a present or two just to keep us satisfied so we can get some sleep before the big day. Last year we went to a relative on my stepdad's side out in the country for the first time, and it was a wonderful experience! New people, games, and food! I absolutely loved it. I love the smells, sights, and sounds.
Dessert has got to be my favorite part of both of these holidays, I have such a horrid sweet tooth, self control and discipline have to be begrudgingly enforced upon myself. I am not so much a cake or pie person, I am only partial to pecan pie, but I am a chocoholic! Especially around Christmas time when there are all kinds of peppermint chocolate candies and sweets, I just go nuts! My favorite indulgences are a peppermint mocha from Starbucks and homemade fudge I had last year made by Dane's grandparents.

Keepin It Reel

I have the special talent of making superb pancakes just like Marie in the movie. It began at a friend's house where I and a few other girls had slept over. We woke up the next morning, and I was the only willing volunteer to help the host make breakfast. I whisked the pancake mix, eggs, milk, the usual ingredients...but then thought that something else might sound good in there too. So I added my secret ingredients and everyone went nuts over my one of a kind chocolate chip pancakes. That was my first experience in making pancakes, but since then I have become an expert by practicing and watching to know just the right moment to flip, the precise chocolate to batter ratio, etc. It is an art, really. I love the smell of the cooking batter, the stickiness on my hands, my sometimes burnt finger tips, the smile on Dane's face when he eats them, watching him attempt to create a masterpiece (which are usually way undercooked for fear of burning them). I also enjoy making crepes because of the many different toppings you can add, but as for pancakes, I just eat them plain. I cannot stand syrup! It is liquid sugar, way too sweet and rich, and would ruin the blissful fluffiness I adore.

I do think that you can fall in love with someone within three days, without a doubt it can happen. It's not rocket science, it's just a matter of being comfortable around one another. Not a mushy gushy fireworks kind of feeling necessarily, just someone you can talk to about anything, and laugh with and hold hands with. Someone who is your best friend but you really want to kiss them at the same time. People have a natural instinct to bond with people or not, sometimes your personalities click, sometimes they clash, sometimes they fall together perfectly like puzzle pieces. I think it's really just about being together and feeling safe with that person, not like you have to try to impress them, but that you can simply be yourself and that's more than enough for them. Love isn't really about the physical attraction as much as it is the connection and bonding between two spirits, because when it comes down to it, who you are is on the inside, and if you only love the outside of someone, you haven't really found them yet to know if you love them or not.

My favorite movie is impossible to narrow down, but the qualities of a great movie in my mind are this:
Good music, highs and lows through music
Real plot, realistic goals, believable plot, meaningful plot
Real acting, passionate acting, lively connection between characters
Consistency throughout scenes
At least a little bit of romance
Surprise ending, plot twist, believable plot twist, logical surprise ending
Comic relief throughout

The kinds of movies I don't usually care for too much are those that are crude in one way or another, whether it be overbearing foul language, a lot of (unnecessary) sexual content, too much gore and/or violence, etc. I do quite enjoy dramas, action, and even the occasional horror film, but I do believe these are just as easily accomplished without the secular additives. I do appreciate the fact that movies have ratings as warnings for the content, but anymore, a PG13 or even a PG movie (where kids will definitely be present) can get away with an awful lot to still be considered PG. This is unsettling to how all conservativeness has simply gone out the window and how desensitized our society is to such vulgar content on an enormous screen in public or even in our own homes.

I watch movies quite often, we don't have cable at my house so I love an outing to the theater to see a new release! Or, what I like maybe even more is renting an old classic to watch at home with a friend with a big comfy blanket. I like to have a cup of hot tea or cocoa to watch a movie with at home, I definitely like to be warm. Going to movies is a typical bonding experience for my family and me, but my friends and I, or Dane and I, prefer to stay home to watch one. Dane is kind of a home body, and so am I, but where going out is concerned, among the small list of places I go, movies would have to be at the top.

Your Personality and Film Use Results

Thanks for taking part! Your results are as follows:

Results

YOUR PERSONALITY
Take a look at how you scored on the Big Five personality dimensions below.
Your scores, compared with the responses of other people, suggest that you may be described as follows:

YOU ARE 100% EXTRAVERTED. You are extraverted, outgoing, active and high-spirited. You prefer to be around people most of the time.

YOU ARE 100% AGREEABLE. You are compassionate, good natured, and eager to cooperate and avoid conflict.

YOU ARE 100% CONSCIENTIOUS. You are conscientious and well organised. You have high standards and always strive to achieve goals.

YOU ARE 67% EMOTIONALLY STABLE. You are generally calm and able to deal with stress, but you sometimes experience feelings of guilt, anger and sadness.

YOU ARE 92% OPEN TO NEW EXPERIENCES. You are open to new experiences. You have broad interests and are very imaginative.


WHY YOU WATCH MOVIES

We have proposed 10 psychological uses for watching films.
Below are your scores for each of these 10 uses, and the relevant descriptions of the ways in which you enjoy films.



PLEASURE-SEEKING: 70%

NOSTALGIA: 65%

Your high score on the “pleasure seeking” dimension suggests that you are a hedonistic movie watcher – this means you enjoy films that give you pleasure or make you feel good.

The “nostalgia” dimension refers to the extent to which you watch movies in order to re-experience the past. Your score on this dimension is average or similar to most people.






CATHARSIS: 50%

AGGRESSION: 30%

The “catharsis” dimension refers to the extent to which you watch movies in order to feel miserable and suffer with the characters of the movie. Your score on this dimension is average or similar to most people.

The “aggressive” dimension refers to the extent to which you enjoy watching violent movies in order to release aggression or tension. Your score on this dimension is average or similar to most people.






ESCAPISM: 50%

SENSATION-SEEKING: 25%

The “escapism” dimension refers to the extent to which you watch movies in order to escape or forget about reality. Your score on this dimension is average or similar to most people.

Your low score on the “sensation seeking” dimension suggests that you do not watch movies in order to experience arousing feelings – thus you do not have a tendency to prefer exciting or adrenaline-fuelled movies.






ARTISTIC: 50%

INFORMATION-SEEKING: 30%

The “artistic” dimension refers to the extent to which you are interested in aesthetically driven, conceptual, and highly creative films. Your score on this dimension is average or similar to most people.

The “information seeking” dimension refers to the extent to which you are a curious and intellectual movie watcher. Your score on this dimension is average or similar to most people.






BOREDOM-AVOIDANCE: 50%

SOCIALISATION: 75%

The “boredom avoidance” dimension refers to the extent to which you watch films primarily as a means of avoiding boredom. Your score on this dimension is average or similar to most people.

Your high score on the “socialising” dimension suggests that you are more interested in the company of others than the actual movie; and that you rarely see the point of watching movies alone. Watching movies is a social experience for you.






(The pictures above are demonstrative of the highest instance of each film use dimension, and do not necessarily relate to your own score.) The aim of this study is to examine how people's personalities relate to the reasons they watch films. For instance, extraverted people are expected to watch films socially and in a pleasure-seeking way, but not to induce catharsis. Agreeable people are expected to watch films in a pleasure-seeking way as well, but would not be expected to enjoy aggressive movies; while conscientious people would also not be expected to enjoy aggressive films, but rather would watch films in an information-seeking way. Emotionally-stable people would be expected to watch films for pleasure-seeking, but not in a nostalgic way, nor for catharsis, escapism or artistic merit. Open people would be expected to watch films for their escapism, artistic value, information-seeking, sensation-seeking and boredom-avoidance dimensions, but not in the pursuit of nostalgia.

This is...

This is the meeting of his lips to her face
This is the first kiss, the first burst of flavor, the bite of the fruit of knowledge when everything becomes so clear
This is the beginning of the love story, for every kiss was like the first
This is what we all should learn, to kiss and love with all our might until the very end, for we are not all fortunate enough to live in ignorance of when the end shall come
This is the beginning of her new life
This is the end of theirs
This is the first and last kiss